InSANiTORiUM

Dear Rick Santorum, the Victorian Era called and they would like their beliefs returned.

"He told a Christian blog last year that as president he would warn the nation about "the dangers of contraception" and the permissive culture spit encourages (sic). He's also questioned whether women should be in combat and said that "radical feminists" have undermined the traditional family by "convincing women that professional accomplishments are the key to happiness."

Really?

(please note by posting this video I am not condoning abortion as birth control)

http://youtu.be/zk6gOeggViw

Rambling On January 12th.

The rage built up inside him. Nothing was safe from it or him. The sun wasn't shining enough. It was shining too much. Music was too odd or too predictable. People? Don't even get him started about people. A billion wastes of space and time and energy. Not to be trusted. Not to be engaged.

Nothing seemed to satisfy. A Snickers ® bar the size of Toledo wouldn't satisfy. Money, love, prestige wouldn't fill the gap or quench the thirst. It continued to boil. The mental whistle of the kettle of anger could be heard by him and anyone too close would be burned by the steam. Fortunately for most, the rage kept him locked up and locked away. In the dark and out of the light.

He grit his teeth and seethed with the bitterness that dwelt within. Sure there were days and minutes and hours when there was perceived happiness and joy, but in the overall picture, if you were to stand back and decipher this life, as a patron deciphers a painting in a museum, you would see black paint, gray lines and shadows covering that joy.

The man got up and walked to the window. The warm sun lit up the room but offered no warmth to his soul. He didn't even believe he had a soul. Just a complex organism, capable of thought, that was all he was. He looked and saw the cars lined up, shining in the afternoon light. He heard the plane, that plane that always seems to be flying overhead when the house is quiet and he is all alone.

Suddenly he realized that this was it. This was all it ever was and if there wasn't a change today, at this moment, in this life, there would never be a change. EVER. This is all there is. Right now. This moment. You can dream and philosophize and wish for and hope for more, but in the available evidence, there is nothing to show that there is anything more than the present.

It is what it is. Good bad or indifferent. This is it. Make no mistake where you are. This is it. Christ who wrote that awful song rattling around in his head? Was that Lionel Ritchie? Billy Joel? A quick online search showed it was Kenny Loggins. As much as he disdained that song, there were good memories and good feelings attached to it, just as there was the strong urge to rip the mental CD from his head and toss it like a Frisbee.

Rubbing his eyes he sat down and let out a heavy sigh. He put his hand under his chin and clicked his fingernail against his bottom teeth. Resting his head on his hand, he sighed again. The heaviness seemed to be released with each deep breath he released. But as surely as it was released upon exhaling, it was drawn back in on the next breath. The foul stench of rotting dreams and decaying desire filled his nostrils. He shook his head and closed his eyes.

There was a time when he would have prayed for an answer. There was a time when he would have asked for divine help in figuring out what was wrong and how it could be fixed. There was a time when he had faith and belief and courage.

His attention turned to the sound outside his window. Lowering his hands from his face he saw his elderly neighbor walk past, slowly. Careful and shaky, he held the days mail in one hand and the leash to his dog in the other.  Sooner than he cared to imagine, he realized that he too would one day be that shaky and that careful in movement. He would one day make a final trip to get the mail, to walk the dog, to slowly and cautiously, grab the railing and walk inside for what might be the last time.

He closed his eyes again and sighed once more. A sadness came over him as he let the darkness behind his hands and closed eyes wash over him. He tried to be quiet and just release the anger and bitterness.

Minutes were ticking by when the gardener, walked past with his leaf blower. Back to reality.

The afternoon was slipping by. It was getting late. Too late? But the anger still remainder. Tinged with sadness and regret. He decided to lay down on the couch and sleep.

Turning on the television he positioned the pillow under his head. His tired legs he stretched out before him as he did the remote routine. Channel to channel and back again he tried to find something to watch, finally settling on a documentary about military weapons. As he listened to the program his eyes grew heavy and he slept.

He heard the phone ring. Is that her? What time is it? Maybe it is just a telemarketer and he can let the machine answer it. He heard her voice and glanced quickly at the clock to see that he had slept for over an hour. Her voice asked, "Are you there?". He ran to the phone and answered. She was calling to say she would be home earlier. He was glad. He seemed happier. Maybe the sleep was all he needed.

Walking into the kitchen he ran the cold water and rinsed the final coffee from this morning out of the glass pot. He poured water in the machine and added coffee. He waited. As the aroma filled the air he took out the mugs and sugar and creamer. He listened as the machine gurgled and spat fourth the brown hot fluid, whose very aroma is a thing of beauty. It hissed and shot forth billows of molten steam.   As the beeper started he pull the pot from the base and  poured a cup and sat down thinking that perhaps things would be ok. A nap had helped relax his mind and hopefully make him feel better about himself, today and the future. He smiled.

The Worm's Crawl In, The Worm's Crawl Out - Earworms!

An earworm is a piece of music that sticks in one's mind so that one seems to hear it, even when it is not being played. Other phrases used to describe this include musical imagery repetition and involuntary musical imagery. The phenomenon is common in normal life and so may be distinguished from brain damage which results in palinacousis (continuing to hear a sound after the physical noise has stopped).

We have all had this happen at one time or another. For some it was the god awful beating of an  achy breaky heart (now that will be stuck in your head). It is some song from the past. Repeated, ad naseum.  For me, for the last two days, it has been, of all things, The Beatles - Do You Want To Know A Secret. All day yesterday, and then just when I thought all my troubles we so far away. This morning, god help me, I was singing; oh I am so ashamed to admit this one, but here goes, Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Why? Damn it WHY?

Just then I was informed that my hair was looking a bit like Alfalfa, and immediately, as if struck by lightning, the following came out of my mouth. It was just a reflex. I heard myself say:

"Alfalfa, will you swing me before we have lunch?"
"Sure Darla."
"Say, Romeo. What about your promise to the He-Man-Woman-Haters Club?"
"I'm sorry, Spanky. I've got to live my own life."

Those words seemingly came from nowhere. They had been stored in the deep dark creaces of my brain. They had entered my ear sometime back in 1981, and made their way through the hippocampus, to be stored in some fold in the gray matter, only to reveal themselves on a cool February morning in California.

The most frightening instance of earworms for me is you or someone you know, singing a jingle from a commercial. Oh holy hell. Isn't it bad enough that a thirty minute television program is only about 22 minutes because of  the inane and incessant advertising that is eating away at our hippocampus? Is it really eating away? Is there actual destruction being done?

I have not found scientific proof (and I am looking). There is however, ample proof that the ear itself is physically destroyed by loud, continuous noise. When we are exposed to harmful noise—sounds that are extremely loud or last for a long time—structures in our inner ear are damaged, causing noise-induced hearing loss (think Pete Townsend - The Who). These hair cells, are small sensory cells that convert the sound into electrical signals that the brain detects. Once these cells are destroyed (they actually break off much like the teeth of a comb) they never grow back.

Just like loud, continuous sound has been shown to physically harm the ear structure, is it not possible that repetitive sounds might destroy the hippocampus? I have no idea, but what I do know is, since this area of the brain is involved in creating new memories, it is best that we make sure the memories we are creating are ones that we will wish to remember.Just as filling your fridge with the wrong food is bad for your physical health, I am convinced filling your eyes and ears with commercialized cotton candy advertising and pop (soda) music is bad for your mental health.

Just in case you didn’t have enough goofy ad jingles stuck in your head, ad agency DDB has added an earworm expert to their staff. The Omnicom unit has named Daniel Müllensiefen, a lecturer in psychology, music and computing at Goldsmiths University their “scientist in residence.” Actually, Müllensiefen’s brief goes far beyond earworms, those catchy tunes that rattle around in your head all day after you hear them on the way to work. DDB says that the new position will be part of an effort to apply neuroscientific theory and psychological testing to enhance client ad campaigns, making him their resident neuromarketing expert.

Oh great.

Sing    sing a song

Do You Walk Into A Dark Room or ...

...do you turn on the light first? Or if there is no electricity do you carry a flashlight or candle? My guess is you probably do the latter. Not too many people go against the natural instinct to make sure the room is safe to enter and that there is no hidden danger lurking in the shadows. Yet, many of these same people live by a philosophy of walking by faith, not by light. Well to them I say have fun tripping over furniture and stumbling into those unseen objects. I am taking a flashlight, candle, opening any available windows and if the light switch is there you can be damn sure that I will flip the lights on and illuminate my path. I don't have faith.

I am not so sure I ever really did have this mystical, magically feeling. Call me skeptical, call me doubting Thomas, call me oh ye of little faith. I like proof. I like things that add up. If I have two apples and Susie gives me two apples I know for a fact I have four apples, and that Susie is way too kind and will not have any apples to eat. That I can understand.

Having belief in something without proof? No thanks. I have tried that enough. From my earliest memories. It is Christmas, you write your letter to Santa. Please bring me XYZ and then Christmas morning comes and you didn't get what you wanted, wished for, had faith he would deliver. Other kids may have but not you. So you obviously weren't a good enough kid. Right? Nope. Mom and dad couldn't buy what you and all your siblings wanted, plus pay the rent, put food on the table and gas in the car. So you got something less. It is not until you learn that there really is no Santa, that you come to grips with that feeling that you weren't good enough. It was a matter of economics, plain and simple, and not a matter of you not being good or lacking the faith that Santa would come through.

Easter is another one. You learn that mom and dad were leaving the basket of jelly beans and chocolate bunnies. The tooth fairy? Same. Shattered hopes. Faith put in something that didn't really exist. Was just made up. Was a story, a tale, a tradition.

You are taught to keep a lucky coin or a rabbits foot. Don't walk under a ladder. Throw salt over your shoulder. Knock on wood. What a load of bollocks - the lot of it.

Drop a spoon and a woman is going to come visit. Drop a fork and a man will soon visit. Don't ever light three cigarettes with the same match. (I like this one because not only would you run the risk of burning your finger but we now know, unlike in the mid 1900's, that cigarettes are deadly, vile creations that will kill you, not make you sophisticated when you inhale that cool menthol aroma. We've come a long way baby!)

We no longer believe that the number of fogs in August predict the number of snow storms the following winter or that green beans should be planted on Good Friday. We would laugh at anyone that suggested such nonsense. Silly superstitions. Yet so many still allow superstitions to rule their lives. Superstitions are nothing but an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear.

We also no longer believe that the sun is a chariot of fire being driven across the sky by Helios. The future is not revealed to us through an oracle bone. Mazu may be the Chinese "goddess of the sea" but we would feel foolish praying to her for a safe ocean voyage or a bountiful fishing trip. The worship of Odin is still practiced by some who claim to be Asatru Pagans, but most people find that silly. How can they practice that ancient belief? Don't they know they are wrong?

The Mayan and Aztec, they were wrong and they are gone. The Druids, for the most part, gone. The gods of Roman and Greek mythology? Great stories and make for fun dimensional, stop-motion cinema (THANK YOU Ray Harryhausen) but no one, "in their right mind" still really, truly has faith in Zeus or Jupiter. Yet, we still are asked to have faith that there is some sort of a mystical magical Nanny watching over us? Really?

Yet for many going through life, this way, superstitiously, is ok. It brings them some sort of comfort. Who the hell says your life was supposed to be comfortable? Why is your life more important than say, the Mexico City children who live in Basureros? 

Have faith they say. 

Show me proof I say. I need to see and know and touch and feel (physically not emotionally).


The idea that a sky dwelling being takes a daily interest in our lives and is going to one day judge us is a childish viewpoint, just as is belief in Santa or the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy or Pheobe Figalilly, a silly name and a silly game. The stuff of children. Doesn't your belief system tell you to throw away childish things? (1 Corinthians 13:11....I reasoned like a child).

I am not a very eloquent man nor am I a stupid man. I will not walk into a dark room without a source of light, but if I do, I alone will be responsible for stubbing my toe or falling over a box. I know what I think, but getting those thoughts onto paper or on this blog, doesn't always come easy. So I will finish with some thoughts from a man that I know, had the ability to write and reason and to cut through the darkness with the flashlight of truth and thought.

 "The person who is certain, and who claims divine warrant for his certainty, belongs now to the infancy of our species." (...throw away childish things.)


"Beware the irrational, however seductive. Shun the ‘transcendent’ and all who invite you to subordinate or annihilate yourself. Distrust compassion; prefer dignity for yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to be thought arrogant or selfish. Picture all experts as if they were mammals. Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence. Suspect your own motives, and all excuses. Do not live for others any more than you would expect others to live for you."

"Faith is the surrender of the mind; it’s the surrender of reason, it’s the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other mammals. It’s our need to believe, and to surrender our skepticism and our reason, our yearning to discard that and put all our trust or faith in someone or something, that is the sinister thing to me. Of all the supposed virtues, faith must be the most overrated."


“To 'choose' dogma and faith over doubt and experience is to throw out the ripening vintage and to reach greedily for the Kool-Aid.” Christopher Hitchens      

Yes There is Hatred Against U.S. - why?

President Eisenhower, in an internal discussion, observed to his staff, and I'm quoting now, "There's a campaign of hatred against us in the Middle East, not by governments, but by the people." The National Security Council discussed that question and said, "Yes, and the reason is, there's a perception in that region that the United States supports status quo governments, which prevent democracy and development and that we do it because of our interests in Middle East oil. Furthermore, it's difficult to counter that perception because it's correct."

A Joyous Birth Anniversary to You Oh Grandest of Luciferous Logolepsians

As the sun rises and we wake upon a new day, we are reminded that there are reasons to celebrate and to honor and to wish good tidings upon our fellow man and it is in this spirit and with the knowledge and foresight that this particular person to whom I wish to proclaim good cheer, has himself, an unforgettable style and an unforgivable tendency to take two and a half pages to describe the knocking of a hand upon a door, that I say these simple words extolling the life of this man and on this most auspicious occasion of the anniversary of his birth let it be said to him by one and all and received by his own two ears so that he may feel the joy with which it is proclaimed and feel the warmth inside himself that has sprung forth from his fellow man, ridden across the air and settled in his own ears. So to you, Mr. Charles Dickens, you man so lacking in brevity, you author of great voluminous works. Works that could be just as wondrous even if pared to a mere two hundred pages. Works that, if they had lost half their girth of verbs and adjectives would still posses within them the rich and warm characters and settings of a by gone era. Let it be known throughout the land, that today, this fine day upon which we have all awoken, is the anniversary of the birth of a great man, a fine author and a man, whom if he were alive today and words were fuel, would have a carbon footprint of verbiage unparalleled even by the lights of Las Vegas. So, raise a glass on high and let us all say, a good and Happy Day of Birth to you good sir.

 

 

 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

On This Holy Day of Obligation

In ancient civilization games were held to honor and please the gods. Some of these societies had other traditions that we have carried forth to today, such as bringing a decorated tree into our homes.This winter solstice celebration was a time to give thanks for the worst of winter would soon be behind. Spring would arrive. It was at this time of celebration that beer and wine, that had been fermenting was now ready to drink. Most livestock had been slaughtered so it wouldn't have to be feed over the winter months. Food was plentiful. It was a hedonistic time. The faithful worshiped and praised and sang.

As with other religious celebrations and institutions you have those that are dedicated and faithful. These faithful attend every service, never miss a sermon and can name all the saints, martyrs, commandments and recite by heart the chapter and verse of their book. So too in football there are the most ardent of supporters. They know the names of every player, the division leaders, the coaching staffs and the referees third cousins, neighbors dogs favorite chew toy.

Saint Curly (pointing the way to the promised land?)

Unfortunately there are some other similarities. Diehard supporters of both football and religion have harmed those that don't hold their same faith. Taunting and mocking each other and occasionally throwing punches and even threatening death to the infidels.

There are prodigal sons (Michael Vick) and beatified saints for whom temples are built (Curly Lambeau). Will we one day see a Montana or Tebow Stadium? 

The pharisees and saducess, or bishops and cardinals, the imams, the "church leaders of the NFL" create and modify the rules and the priests and acolytes oversee the ceremony, dressed in their holy black and white vestments. Ironically this years ceremony even includes a Madonna, who is more like a false prophet, after all SHE sang  "Like a Virgin?". HA - I don't think so!


There are also those who don't participate in this yearly spectacle. They don't share your same faith or perhaps they have just lost their faith. They turned their backs to the spectacle and celebration. They hold differing philosophies. They don't care to partake in this annual pilgrimage to the mecca of Madden. They would rather be out in the sun or at a movie or read a book or take a nap. That is fine. That is good. That should be celebrated and revered. As it is with religion, some belief and some don't. Some hold their faith dear and some find it ridiculous.

I hold no particular religious faith. I know we are here and alive and have today to see what we can see and feel what we can feel and love whom we can and taste and drink and hear beautiful music, pet a cat, eat a hot dog with jalapenos or drink an ice cold IPA. There is no temple to which I bow or god to whom I pray. I enjoy my life now and hope that when the end comes I have been a good person and enjoyed this fleeting moment. I may be faithless and non-religious but today, I will celebrate at the Altar of Vizio and partake of the bread and drink of the ale. I have had my own epiphany.

It finally came to me. A revelation. Not in a burning bush, although I have burned many. Not after a climb up a mountain to obtain instructions written in stone. I haven't done that but I have seen my share of graffiti in the foothills and mountains and thought WTF? Not after looking through a magic stone at some magic gold plates was it revealed to me. No, my revelation came from friends and loved ones. As I sit with them and talk with them, this Holiest of Days is not really a day of worshiping or pleasing a god. This day is just another day we have set aside to consume fine food and ale with friends and family. The Big Game is just a distraction in the background to which, between bites of pulled pork and sweet potato fries, we give some attention. We look up at the glowing LCD (or plasma) altar and say, this is why we have gathered together. And we see that it was good.

So today, whether you are heading to a bbq, or sitting with friends and watching in a bar, or you have decided that you won't take part, enjoy what you are doing. Have a great time. Love those you are with. Taste each bite and drink and relish the wonderful food and company. You are alive. Life can be tough at times. It can be overwhelming. It is also so beautiful and it - TODAY - is all any of us truly have. Make the most of it.That is the only obligation we truly have to ourselves and each other.

Let the games begin! 

R_O_L_L_E_R==C_O_A_S_T_E_R........

The adrenaline loads up and is pumped into your bloodstream as you stand waiting in line to get on the roller coaster.The clicking of metal, the pounding of your heart in your chest and ears. The oh holy hell what am I in for now feeling. The tightening of your sphincter and the sweat of your palms. Fight or flight.  The choice is yours.

Life as a roller coaster may be a trite metaphor, however, trite as it may be, it is still valid to some extent. Of course in life we didn't choose to get in line for the ride, although some could argue that the one sperm cell out of the millions that fights and struggles to make it to the egg, shows there is an innate desire to get ahead, to move forward, to  accomplish. There has to be movement forward in life.

So we board the coaster car and sit there, waiting to go up that first hill (childhood, adolescence) and then rush down the other side (teens to adulthood). Before we know it the ride is over. We have gone through the ups and downs, twists and turns, even a loop or two. (I know I have had my share of loops). But we move ahead.

Here is where the coaster metaphor derails a bit. We get in the car and then we are passive. We just ride. The motion has begun and is taking us where it will. We can make a decision as to how we will respond to the ride. We can close our eyes, scream, cry, sit stone faced. We can raise our arms and laugh and hoot and holler. We can even make a decision to jump out of the car, as some one million people eachyear decide to do with their own coaster ride (according to WHO). They don't want to go through that loop or up another hill or more likely down into another valley. So off they go. A horrible end to what can be a thrilling ride.

Like each life, each coaster is different. Some have more loops, some more turns, some more "airtime", some are short and some long. So even though we have found ourselves in the car of a roller coaster, we can still decide to stay in and enjoy the ups and downs or get out. Something that we also forget, is that this roller coaster has to be located somewhere and that somewhere is the playground of life and we can decide what the roller coaster is like. We can get on Viper, or Afterburn, Dominator or Intimidator. Or even a mild one like Dragon Wagon.

Or maybe you want to just get on the Merry-Go-Round. How boring is that? Going around and around and around in circles. To top it off the big payoff is to catch the brass ring and earn another free trip, around and around in circles. No thank you. I will take the peaks and valleys and occasional loop of a roller coaster. 

Since you are already on the coaster keep this in mind.

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”

Enjoy your coaster ride with all its loops and valleys, twists and turns. Have fun. Scream. Be scared. Be exhilerated. Be YOU!

"Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride vehicle at all times."

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